Controversial Expectations

Alwyn's hunt for "agreement" started at a young age. Agreement was nowhere to be found. The rebel within him surfaced until the day he ran into Mr. Lee. "You must not make war in your mind." This was a statement he carried through challenging years. He then pleaded of his father, "They surprise you-they shock you. Why, Dad?" only to hear "Look and learn," and that someday he would know. "Alwyn, your wife has an aggressive cancer. We might take the chance and allow her to go through with a pregnancy, however, it would be dangerous," the professor said. Will my wife live? Will I ever have the privilege to conceive a child? Would the gift of love's life be withheld from me forever? My love connection had been disconnected not by death but, rather, by a love-life disaster that had rendered it impossible to pass our gift of life to a next generation. I was interested in alternative medicine; I continued and enjoyed my college studies. So understandingly, my wife found a new life partner who could identify with her and share the type of life she desperately needed. For now, I was hoping that a new life lay ahead of me, and the desire to have an offspring of my own amplified. With her husband, the patient stood before me with the palms of her hands open to the ceiling, as if receiving the heavenly blessing. "I am pregnant. We are happy and excited. Thanks for your assistance. We have confirmation that the baby and I have a good bill of health," she told me. I must admit, after they left with so much gratitude, I was somewhat jealous and somewhat rebellious. "You must not make war in your mind." And Alwyn continued his journey of many real-life experiences. There was grandmother praying that her life be shortened. Then there was needy expectation of a desperate husband and what the wives wanted so desperately. You too may have had a loved one saying, "Your insecurities are getting to you."