Everyone grieves differently. This is as it should be, but grieving is so intense that people often feel isolated and alone. Bluebirds on the Roof shows how we can support those who grieve and provide them with understanding and compassion. We don’t know how to cope with the devastation of losing a loved one. Nobody does. So how do we deal with the impossible event that has changed our lives forever?
This book is designed to be read one page at a time. When you are crying and lack the ability to concentrate, it can be difficult to read more than a few paragraphs in one sitting. Becoming a member of the “Club,” learning to breathe, and realizing that there are others out there who truly care, are topics discussed that only those who are emotionally distraught may understand. The immense frustration of dealing with those who don’t really comprehend your grief, religious contradictions, and feelings of despair are detailed.
Honest stories of loss shared by others are incorporated into the book to show how the randomness of life and religious beliefs can seem to be in conflict with one another. These contradictions produce feelings that often overwhelm a person. Unbelievable, but not unusual. The frustration produced by this realization can be debilitating. The book’s challenge is to offer ways to come back from all of this.
Some of these personal stories are fairly graphic and intense. All are true. In some cases exact details are omitted to protect the people who shared these experiences for the book. Unfortunately, the author has extensive personal experience in being devastated by the loss of loved ones. His own story is included as an example of the challenges we must all face in order to understand what is important in life. The point is made that everyone has a different experience, copes differently, and must find a personal path forward. There is no loss that is “tougher” or more “special” than another. The circumstances of death do not matter. Grief has no rating system.
Finally, there are a variety of strategies offered for people to begin to cope with the loss of a loved one. The choices abound, but the point is that people in mourning have to change with their new lives somehow, some way. The power to try is the power to succeed. Every attempt to try something new is a success. There are no failures. It is a habit that ultimately leads to a positive change in one’s life!
Bluebirds on the Roof reflects a personal transformation for a positive outcome from a tragic experience. There is something positive that can come from grieving – and we must all be motivated to search for it. The key to surviving in a positive way when one’s life has changed is to change with it.
