We're Not Queens, We're Bitches
Finalist 2022 Nancy Pearl Book Award
Lark's life at fifty is a tour bus with failing brakes.
Failed marriage, failed social work career, failed romance with a renaissance faire knight.
If fifty is the new forty, her future doesn't bode well.
A job comes along for a three-week band tour as a backup singer and bus driver in her native Ireland. But the country has changed since she moved to the US.
A lot.
Someone steals priceless artifacts from Dublin's National Museum, and Lark suspects one of her bandmates is the thief. Can she manage the wild ride through the countryside, survive her quirky bandmates, reconnect with her crazy mom, and find the rare antiquities before they disappear forever on the black market?
We're with the Band is a comedic romcom across Ireland through the eyes of Lark Devlin and her best friend, Bev De Trow.
Once a social worker, Lark's twenty-five year marriage fell apart. In response, she embarked on an endeavor as an owner of a renaissance faire booth and hooked up with Lance Allot. When her lover was too generous with his lance, she dumped him and went back to Portland, taking a job at Voodoo Doughnuts.
Now 2013, she needs a career and a path that will allow her to save for when she reaches retirement age. She decides to go back to school to become a dental hygienist. However, an offer comes along to join a band as a backup singer for a three week tour in Ireland, her homeland. She is also to be a guide for the Band of Pirates, so she figures out that she is being hired because she is Irish. Having not seen her mother in years, she takes the job, knowing that she will not be able to afford a trip back once she has a student loan to pay off. Her mother, who is a bit of a loon, likes to dress in ragged clothes and beg on the streets of Dublin.
Lark's best friend, Bev, is a high-powered computer executive. She is eager for the tour because it is a chance to cut lose before taking a high-pressure job as VP of Marketing in a nationally renowned corporation. She is in a committed relationship and naively doesn't understand what a band tour entails.
As the two backup singers become familiar with the playlist for the tour and work with the band, they realize the band isn't as good as they thought. They must also contend with their quirky bandmates. Rhett, the lead singer, is a narcissist, who considers himself a superstar on a mission to beat the record of bedding the most women. Matt is a whiny keyboardist, who resembles a romantic lead on the cover of a bodice ripper. Steve is an enigmatic guitar and trumpet player, who never seems to engage with the band members. Candi is a ditzy new age backup singer with an assortment of muses and herbs to address any catastrophe. Jeremy, the drummer, is a troubled troubadour, and is someone Lark wants to seduce. However, Jeremy is in a relationship with Candi.
As the Band of Pirates embarks on its adventure, the news is full of the heist at Dublin's National Museum. Some of Ireland's most precious antiquities have been stolen. Sketchy behavior on the part of one of the band members makes Lark suspicious. She and Bev set out to solve the mystery. In the process, Lark solves the real mystery, what her life should be about.
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