The Goose in the Bathroom

Arriving home to find a Canada goose in your bathroom is family life in a nuthouse, um, nutshell.

The story of Lucy Goosey’s residence in the New Olde Rolfe Ancestral Home is just one of the wonders that await you in these timeless tales and observations about the never-ending joys and surprises of parenting. There are mealtime battles over a dreaded can of apricots, holiday calamities with appliances that merrily spew suds or smoke, an epic trek through the American West where natural splendor takes a backseat to a camper trailing sewage as the stuff that truly interests kids, a teen son getting crabs (bizarre ones) from his girlfriend, a mom and dad going on strike, and much more, all while the author’s castle and carcass crumble.

John Rolfe chronicled the antics of his brood and other universal topics in his column for the USA Today Network's Poughkeepsie Journal from 2000 through 2016. The best of that work is here — including his Brief Primer on Parenting that offers such helpful guidance as “Rude Awakenings and How to Apply Them” — enhanced by amusing photos, illustrations, cards, letters and incriminating documents, plus new material that completes the arc of family life from blessed events to empty nest … refilled by chickens.

If you have kids, had kids, or are bracing for kids, The Goose in The Bathroom is sure to cause you mirth.