My Diary and Early Life Lessons

I am not an author, but I've kept a journal for most of my life. When I was in my teen years, I wrote in my journal but also wished I could know the thoughts and read the journal of another teenager. I thought I was the only one feeling what I was feeling. My first intention with this book is to provide my diaries as a written display that the stages one goes through as a teenager, while unique, are also relatable. My second intention is self-serving. I put this project together to better understand myself, and I would encourage others to do the same.

You may now come on the journey of my life, starting with my early adolescence. Follow me as I change my desired occupation more times than I can count, get harassed for my sexual experimentation, search for God, and experience many other hills and valleys along my pathway. This book is about one-quarter of my journal. I took out what I thought was repetitive or, rather, me just blabbering on and certain secrets about people that I wouldn't want revealed. I also combined some entries to avoid repetition, and all of the names in this book are fictitious. Other than that, everything is real and raw.

Because of these journals, I clearly remember being a teenager. I felt alone even though there were people all around me. I felt completely misunderstood. I constantly felt betrayed. I felt awkwardly sexual. And I felt full of a slight rage I couldn't understand. I felt I had a lot to say, with thousands of questions that no one cared to answer. I wish someone had told me that it would get easier. Everyone told me life gets tougher with responsibilities. I believe that people don't truly remember what it was like to be a teenager. Life is more stressful now, but do people truly remember what it was like to feel as powerless as they did when they were teenagers? I remember. It's hard not to with my journals.

I am now in my midtwenties and going back through my life to try and learn more about myself. This book presents my journey thus far.