The Voice I Never Had
If I Had a Voice Like ... Short stories about the wild times of live radio, live TV, and life in a small town.
J. C. Loomis ... was WRAT's biggest star. In just three short months, he'd increased his audience and sales to record numbers. On top of his popularity, he'd been damned from the pulpit by the preacher at Westside Baptist Church. "He's lewd-uh, crewed-uh, and intent on wrecking the moral fiber of this community."
... and ...
Blinky Jervis crawled into the back of the mess truck .... His eye was twitching furiously as he appealed to the heavens for protection from snakes. Just in case the prayers didn't work, he planned to get enough beer in him to calm his jumpy nerves. The cooks ... began joking, "Damn, he's sending Morse Code."
... and ...
As the Bela Lugosi movie was reaching the place for us to ... go live in the local studio, the lady vampire walked onto the set ... wearing vampire teeth, red lipstick, a white negligee, and nothing underneath. ... the studio lights hit her, .... The camera operator says ..., "Damn! You can see clean through that thing."
... and more ...
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