In a debut novel as emotionally raw as it is uncanny, a tragic love story unfolds against the complicated backdrop of Hollywood's elite, where the line between reality and fantasy blurs under the modern tension of the civilian and celebrity worlds.
Deathwish and Fantasy author Ben Fama brings a poet's sensibility to his highly original and delicate debut novel. If I Close My Eyes showcases Fama's demonstrated skill for startling visual imagery, emotional depth and caustic satire, all woven into a tragic narrative as real as it is otherworldly.
The novel tells the story of two strangers who begin an affair after surviving a mass shooting at a Kim Kardashian book signing. Lust and pleasure fuel the romance between a 19-year-old aspiring screenwriter and a 30-year-old struggling actress over the backdrop of our fast-paced, digital world. Set in Los Angeles and New York City, playing out through text message banter, trashy tabloid stories and other appropriated forms, If I Close My Eyes presents the story of two damaged bodies whose lives briefly touch and are forever changed as a result. Humorous and melancholy, simultaneously satirical and deadpan, If I Close My Eyes is for readers of Bruce Wagner, Bret Easton Ellis and even Evelyn Waugh.
A true poet's novel, beautiful yet deliberate, If I Close My Eyes comes undone with each turn of the page, peeling back every artifice facing us and showing us ourselves, stripped of our narratives, naked except for our desires. Fama pulls us into his spiral with ease, offering humor and devastation with each card dealt to us, and the chaos feels as intrinsic yet mysterious to us as our own bodies. If I Close My Eyes makes us question: What do we do when fantasy abandons us?
"Imagine a young Bret Easton Ellis with a heart, if you can, and that's Ben Fama. With devastating compassion for his dissolute characters, Fama extracts truths about contemporary pop culture that feel original and bold, even as they come at the cost of some unfortunate young people's grasping, heartbreaking, sometimes hilarious lives. Every sentence is a twisty, poetic pleasure, but never at the expense of the plot. I treasured every weird-ass page."
-Emily Gould, author of Perfect Tunes
"Ben Fama's debut novel If I Close My Eyes is David Cronenberg's Maps to the Stars meets Chris Kraus' Summer of Hate-come for the acute Hollywood satire and stay for the dreamy love story. I adored this book."
-Anna Dorn, author of Exalted
"A playful and ultra-contemporary story in which Fama's prose sparkles."
-Rachel Rabbit White, author of Porn Carnival
"A thoughtful ... vivid tale."
-Kirkus
Discover your next great read at BookLoop, Australia's trusted online bookstore offering a vast selection of titles across various genres and interests. Whether you're curious about what's trending or searching for graphic novels that captivate, thrilling crime and mystery fiction, or exhilarating action and adventure stories, our curated collections have something for every reader. Delve into imaginative fantasy worlds or explore the realms of science fiction that challenge the boundaries of reality.
For those with a green thumb, our comprehensive range of gardening books provides insights and tips for all levels of enthusiasts. If you're aiming to enhance your financial acumen, our selection of finance, business, and management books offers valuable knowledge from industry experts. Craft lovers will appreciate our assortment of handicrafts, decorative arts, and crafts books, perfect for inspiring your next project. Engage your mind with our collection of hobbies, quizzes, and games books, or explore the mystical with our fortune-telling and divination guides.
Transportation aficionados can immerse themselves in our extensive transportation books, including detailed works on road and motor vehicles. Young readers are not left out, with a delightful array of picture books and early learning concepts designed to educate and entertain. Fans of contemporary narratives will find compelling stories in our contemporary fiction section. Embark on epic journeys with our fantasy and science fiction titles, or gain inspiration from real-life tales in our biographies and true stories collection. Health-conscious readers can explore our health and wholefood cooking books, focusing on specific diets and conditions.
BookLoop proudly supports the educational needs of students and schools across Australia. Our textbook collection includes school books and teacher resources for every phase from primary school books, secondary school books, and essential titles for TAFE courses, vocational training, and university study. Each book is selected to align with curriculum outcomes and classroom needs, making it easy for schools and teachers to plan ahead.
From structured lesson planning to engaging student activities, our wide range of school books and teacher resources provides essential tools for educators. You’ll also find dedicated school and preschool teacher materials designed for early years education, classroom support, and intervention. Teachers can access a reliable selection of workbooks, literacy and numeracy programs, assessment tools, and professional development guides all in one place.
Support the earliest stages of education with our curated range of early childhood care and education books. These titles are ideal for early learning centres, preschools, and childcare settings, offering age-appropriate resources that build foundational skills in literacy, numeracy, and emotional development. Families and educators alike trust our resources for quality, clarity, and classroom effectiveness.
We make bulk school book orders simple and efficient. Schools, libraries, and early learning centres can rely on BookLoop for competitive pricing, fast shipping, and expert support when sourcing large quantities of textbooks and educational materials. Whether you’re restocking for a new term or ordering resources for an entire class, our bulk ordering system ensures convenience and accuracy every step of the way.
Explore our new releases for the most recent additions in romance books, fantasy books, graphic novels, crime and mystery books, science fiction books as well as biographies, cookbooks, self help books, tarot cards, fortunetelling and much more. With titles covering current trends, booktok and bookstagram recommendations, and emerging authors, BookLoop remains your go-to local australian bookstore for buying books online across all book genres.
Stay updated with the literary world by browsing our trending books, featuring the latest bestsellers and critically acclaimed works. Explore titles from popular brands like Minecraft, Pokemon, Star Wars, Bluey, Lonely Planet, ABIA award winners, Peppa Pig, and our specialised collection of ADHD books. At BookLoop, we are committed to providing a diverse and enriching reading experience for all.
If you have any questions before making a purchase chat with our online operators to get more information.
or find our Questions & Answers
