What to Expect When You're Expected

For hip, ironic parents-to-be of The Daily Show generation -- for those who'd rather curl up with The Onion than traditional parenting and pregnancy books like WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING.
This new second edition is filled with the latest, most accurate wombhood information, including comforting answers to hundreds of questions, such as
."My mother just took a sip of white wine. Am I going to end up looking like some Chernobyl baby now?"
. "So far Mommy is spending most of her pregnancy in a state of stress, anxiety, and depression. Which one should she focus on?"
."I'm kicking as hard as I can, but Mom says it feels like 'butterflies fluttering.' Am I doing something wrong?"
."Why do my parents blast Mozart at me every night right when I'm trying to sleep?!?"
."To the nearest hundred, how many people should Mommy invite to my birth?"